I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
