How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
