You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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