mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
