Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
