my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
