i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
