Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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