Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
