I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
