he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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