Reggie can tackle my bush.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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