I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think your dad took our porno
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
