I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
