i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
