We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
