wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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