I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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