That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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