In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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