my being single is dangerous.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
