I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
