grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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