I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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