I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
