did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
