I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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