Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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