The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
