Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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