Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
