ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
