return my video game
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
