Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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