then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
