he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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