all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
