If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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