It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I have fence marks all over my body
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
