i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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