real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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