i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He did a backflip because drugs
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