So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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