I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
