what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
