so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
