ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I party with great urgency now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
