in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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