The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
