I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
