I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
